A Blog???

You want to know how long it has been since I posted? Long enough that I had to look up my pass word!! For Pete's Sake!
This post is to confirm to myself that this week, I am updating my blog. I am going to have a new look and lots of news to share. I am going to be faithful in my postings :) yep, that's what I'm gonna do, first thing tomorrow. LOL

Well Shoot!

Here it is the New Year already and I have been so bad about my blog! Shame on me. I really think it is my list. It does keep me busy. I have a personal relationship with everyone on there and it takes me a lot of time to keep up on their daily lives and post so I can keep up with things. I have made such good friends from that list, I never expected that to be the case. I am truly blessed to be able to talk with these people on a daily basis!

I am such a hermit. I will do almost anything to keep from having to venture out during the week. Yet I can participate in all my friends daily "doings" and only have to open my lap top! Isn't the internet great!?

Last year was a very poopy year. It seems to me this time last year I had great hopes LOL. Well this year I am going to take it a day at a time. Try to roll with the punches. We have had a few! But it is up to me to get it together and make something of this year. I almost feel like I have the mental energy to do it. So I just need to not over whelm myself, I do that often. I need to not put unattainable demands on myself, and them get upset when I don't meet them. I mean really. 

 I hope to post more often, get more done, enjoy it more and make more online friends this year. I hope to be mentally stronger this year. Not as many wimpy wimpy days, just a few LOL. My goals will me more daily goals not huge chunks of time or huge projects. I also am going to try to a lot my time better. Spread it around a bit. Reward my self for doing the drudgie housework that no ones ever sees but hubby and me! Get my butt outside and do smaller projects a little a day, instead of going out and  totally  exhausting ( usually hurting) myself trying to get it all done in a day.  Pace will be my word for the year 2010. Ha, here I have been trying to figure out a way to describe what I wanted for this year  and all I had to do was post to my blog, and I figured it out. Yes, I need to post to my blog. I always find out thing about myself!

Oh My!

I have had so many Oh My's this year, it is what has kept me from posting. Let see if I can re cap quickly. Oh My, my studio rolled down the hill, Oh My I had a terrible allergic reaction to poison sumac, Oh My I got mixed up in the yarn and dye sales for Marion, Oh My we got chickens,pheasants and peachicks, Oh My we have finally gotten a start on the "new to be studio", Oh My it that time of year again when Jeffery died.
Well, I guess that about sums it up!
I haven't posted in ages and everytime I have felt guilty and almost posted, I didn't want to sound depressed. Well for the most part, I have been. I just can't seem to get to a point where I can take a deep breath and relax and enjoy life. I don't know if it is a left over grief thing, just shitty luck, or maybe the way things will be for a while? Everytime we seem to take one step forward, we get 3 back. Hubby's work is awful, haven't been this strapped for money since we were kids. Of course lost a good part of our savings when we had to close up Jeffery's business. Still can't talk about that. I can't seem to get a place set aside for my fiber stuff. I am getting to the point I have mostly lost interest in it for now. I have gotten the birds, they have given me alittle sanity. I could just sit out with them all day. We still have Penny and Jacky, both are doing well. I am fairly healthy as is hubby. Maybe just a cycle I am going thru. I feel like I need to withdraw and take care of me, and yet I feel like I am giving in if I do :(
So here is the poopy post I have been trying to avoid. Now that it is done, I will take some pictures of the birds and "new to be studio" and come back and hopefully sound alittle more content!

Lost My Friend

As many of you know I have old Great Danes. Sunday our little boy took his last breath on our deck and died. I am just crushed. It was a sweet sorrow as we knew we were going to have to make that decision before long as he was just getting to heavy and weak to haul around with the towel around his hiney. But he just adapted so well to anything that came up just so he could be around, it was hard to call an end to that spirit. The sweet boy he was, he took that decision out of our hands.

Sunday evening we had been outside trying to get some things done and when we came in he was on his bed kinda choking and had thrown up foam. I thought he must have gotten something stuck in his throat as they had just eaten. I calmed him and he seemed to settle then he was having trouble breathing and had a gurgling noise when he would inhale, then his jaws would close tightly. As I look back I think he may of been having a mild seizure. We called the emergency vet, closest being 45 miles away. They could only tell us to bring him in. We got on the floor and he seemed to calm way down, couldn't lay on his side with out having troubles, but is he laid on his tummy, he was doing okay. We decided to take him in, in the morning and I would stay with him on the floor that night to make sure he was okay. So we got him up to go outside to go potty, and when he got on the deck he laid down and died. It was just a few breaths and he was gone. He was home and in his mom and dads arms which is where he would have wanted to be anyway, not in a vets office.

Loosing an animal is always hard, I had many extra years with Petey than most do with Danes, and we cared for him making sure he was included and as comfortable as possible in his elder years. But the hole that is left is huge! I still have his sister and our Rescue Jacky, they are morning too. Monday they both went out on the deck and laid where he had died most all day. They are still not eating well and are looking around every corner for him. It is just lonely without him :(

Petey was my best friend, there thru Jeffery's death cuddled with me for months, made me get up to take him out when I didn't want to, made me get up to feed him when I didn't want to and let me sleep longer than I should when I needed too. He was there when all the grand kids were born, checking them out on the floor when they would come over, deciding it was something he wasn't really thrilled about but it was okay he would just lay down and ignore "it". Then as they got older, maybe they were okay, after all they would play when they came over! He was with me when I lost my Dad, again silent but caring. He was always the funny one, his ears would cock from one side to the other when something puzzled him. He was the one that would chase the ducks into the pond on the golf course and then realize when he got in there, dumb dog couldn't swim! He also ran right into the swimming pool one evening while we were sitting out side, he was trying to beat his sister to the ball! Again, damn dog couldn't swim! He was a very sweet boy by nature, even though in his day he was 180 lbs.! I remember one day when I had him and his sister in the back of the SUV, I was facing the truck and both of their leashes in my hands, they took out of the truck and pulled me right out of my shoes! Right on my butt! They just looked at me like,what your problem??

I miss him terribly but I have many good memory's. I see him in his sister, I see him in the way he trained our little rescue as to how to act in this household, I see him on his bed with his blankie over his head, I see him on the deck sunning himself, I see him laying on his bed waiting for his treat like maybe, just maybe, this time she might forget me!

Most of all, I feel him in my heart loving me.