I have been having people looking at my blog. That is so exciting. I am one of those people that really don't like being in public much so I mainly communicate thru the web and this is so exciting to me. I guess I have never really liked the social thing, although when my kids were growing up we were always busy and in the middle of things. Now I am older and I don't have to do that unless I feel like it, and I am so busy with the things I enjoy, I choose to stay home and do them! I also have a great hubby that allows and in encourages me to do so. We you get older I guess they call you eccentric, is that me? I just thought I was different:)
We have had a rough year and 1/2 so my "hiding" at home has been out of necessity for a while now. We lost our oldest son Sept. 29 2006. He was on a walk around his home one evening and was hit by a car. He was only 36 and had 3 young children and one on the way. I can't even begin to tell you how this has changed our families life. Everyone around you life goes on, yours stands still. I am doing better, some days are awful, it helps at times to write about it. People around you get tired of hearing the story over and over so you run our of ears. We are estranged from our DIL so we don't even get to see the grand kids, I don't know what happened there, she just got mad one day. They were Jeffery's life and reason for being, he was such a good dad. I'm thinking the DIL wants to move on and it is easier for her if we(his family) aren't involved. She won't even talk to my daughter and her family. How things change. Someday the kids will be old enough to seek us out on their own, I wonder sometimes what she tells them, I know they ask about us, we only live 2 hours away and I was there atleast once a week. I hope they don't think we don't care, and that daddy's family is just gone.
So now on to funner things! I just ordered some more Knit Picks needles. I just love those things! I got to cables and some tips. I thought about ordering the set, but I have the Denise set and I really never use the bigger needles so I thought I would just pick and choose.
We have finally had some rain! Our lake out front got so low and now it looks like a lake! The creek is running, sounds so pretty, but boy do we have some clearing to do! I'm still playing around with the idea of a couple of sheep. But I'm not sure I really want the responsibility of taking care of them everyday. It may be better to just purchase fleece at the White Barn Farm. :))
I have decided I want to try Fair Isle knitting, I saw the cutest Tam my daughter, lives in Milwaukee, would get so much use from.
Isn't this beautiful? Now if she would develop a pattern for a pair of gloves to match! Hint Hint.
I think I will dye some yarns today for this project. I was thinking that I would have way to much yarn now that I spin, but it is turning out that I am always in need for more more more!
Now to go find more projects!
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1 comment:
Hi Dorinda,
I haven't kept up with your blog; the post before this one was the last I read until today. I didn't know about your son, or not getting to see your grandkids. That second part has got to make the lose ever so much harder. Unfortunately, the children will very likely think their father left their life on purpose, and you did, too. My parents divorced when I was four, and it has taken a long time, until I was 39 actually (I'm 46 now) to learn and work through my hang-ups resulting from that. I have learned that it is impossible for an egocentric young child to understand that "it's not about them," no matter how many times you tell them; they are just not able to mentally process the bigger picture at that age. There is a fairly new book out there on the effects of divorce on young children, having followed a large group for something like 20-30 years, refuting the accepted "fact" that there can be a "good" divorce. (I'm telling you about it because the death of a parent affects a young child very similarly.)
Here's my unsolicited advice: Do whatever you can to get re-involved and STAY involved in your grandchildren's lives. Perhaps you could do some research and then write a well-thought-out, unpassionate letter about your desire to help the children deal with a loss (of both their dad, and for awhile, you) they are not mentally capable of understanding except as somehow their fault. Maybe even give her a copy of the book (I'd have to do some sleuthing to learn the title; perhaps you have more time to do that) as an outside opinion. Be sure to tell her that you have no desire to hold her to the past or keep her from moving on (and then you have to work hard to demonstrate that!); maybe taking the kids - at least the three older ones - on short outings without Mom would make her more comfortable than having "Jeffrey's parents" hanging around. Be gently, patiently persistent; don't take no for an answer. As a last resort I would ask a lawyer if it is possible to get legally mandated visiting rights. This is SO important for both you and the kids. May God work on your DIL's heart as you pursue this! And may He bring healing to you as well as to the relationship between you and Jeffrey's kids. (((((HUGS)))))
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